On My Mind #2

I’m sitting here looking at the week ahead and reflecting on this insane week that just passed. I think I posted on Instagram on Wednesday that Monday had felt like centuries ago… Man. Looking back from today this whole week feels like it was a million years long. So, so MUCH has happened. A week and a half ago the starter belt on my car snapped and after a bit of deliberation my husband and I decided we didn’t want to pour anymore money into the constantly breaking down car, and figured it was time I invested in more reliable transportation. We did some research, test driving, multiple days of dealer runs, until we finally settled on a Toyota Corolla. Kind of a big step for me so it’s been exciting but also stressful taking on a car payment. YA KNOW? So there was that. Car shopping took up a big chunk.

On top of all this it was my last week of school. Which is great, I’m really excited to have time for other pressing priorities over the summer months, however it has meant a lot of work to get our projects together and turned in on time. Group projects are the WORST. One kid in our group was so clueless and in the end I had to be the bad guy and put my foot down and told him we couldn’t put his name on the project, resulting in him failing. So that kind of sucked, for him, and we all felt bad but hey- its adulting… who are we to enable his bad habits. Whatever, it’s over. Onto the final presentations and test and it. is. finished.

ANY WAY. I’m kind of trailing off here and just ranting on the weirdness that has “taken space” in my life this week. On that note I’ll loop back to my initial thoughts I wanted to share- one being the idea of people and things “taking space” in your life… mentally speaking.

I was listening to Rachel Brathen’s podcast earlier this week and in one of her recent episodes she talks about an exercise they do during their yoga retreats. She will have individuals pair up and they are given a prompt or question and asked to share with their partner. The only thing is the other person is asked not to respond but to just listen. So often we interrupt each other- even if it’s to say “I know how you feel.” Instead, she encourages the pairs to “hold space” for the other. It made me think about how often I am guilty of this- adding my “I totally know how that feels” sentiments, I realized I need to be better about how I hold space for the people and friends I care deeply about.

This also got me thinking about all the unnecessary things we hold space for in our lives. How often do I devote too much of my attention to things that don’t deserve that much space?

I suppose that brings me to the next recurring theme of the week- unnecessary attachment. Specifically to material possessions. Saying goodbye to our car was surprisingly hard, we both found ourselves pretty emotional about getting rid of it. Jayse picked me up for our first date in that car, we moved our lives across country together in the Aveo. I managed to get in 6 accidents and she still ran and ran for 130,000 miles until the starter belt snapped. I kept saying “it’s just material.” You can’t keep something forever you know? I guess that’s why I like taking pictures so much. A reminder of these moments in time. Why do we place so much value on these things? When they’re just that. Things.

Saturday night our car (not my new one) was broken into in our apartment complex. I guess it wasn’t broken into so much as Jayse accidentally left the door unlocked, but regardless someone entered our gated parking lot, went through the car, stole petty cash and random things of little value. I think the most valuable things they took were my husbands uncles 50 cent pieces. Which again, holds more sentimental value. The end of the day, it’s just so insignificant and again, we can’t hold on to these things forever. It still just sucks. The universe seems to be challenging us to let go, and be okay with that.

That’s all for my takeaways from last week…

Make space. Let go.

With that, I call it a night. Until next time.




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